Over the years, God granted me a multitude of choices to follow him, or to do my own thing. Up until a couple years back, I’ve pretty much followed him a bit, and then decided whoa…. I think I’ll do my own thing. Sure, I prayed, and consulted what many consider elders. Yet, ultimately mammon won out.
In the late 80’s a couple mid level Christian bands needed a bass player to go on the road. At the time, I had a ton of CM connections, and I was getting calls to go here and do this, or go there and do that. Sadly though, the life in CCM, at least for a sideman is one of poverty, unless its a huge act, and even then, unless one does a lot of studio work, its a difficult life. Thus, to those who can do, I greatly admire. As such, I turned them down.
Then a few years later, a friend was starting at a new ministry in CA, and wanted me to go out there and help him get rolling. This while tempting was a bit problematic, as I was an ultraconservative at the time, and he was a moderate liberal. Probably he was then where I am now lol. And while we both saw this as a wonderful oppurtunity for service, I wasn’t sure I would be 100% behind him on this. Thus, I ended up turning that one down too. In hindsight, I think it could have been a great oppurtunity, but alas it has long passed.
Over the years I filled in here, or did that there, and nothing really ever came of it. I took pre-seminary course at the U, taught sunday school, did the youth ministry thing as time permitted, but over time, slowly kept walking away from the open doors.
Sometime around 2004, I made a conscious decision that when God presents an oppurtunity, I am not going to say no. If he wants me somewhere, thats where I’ll be. If he doesn’t, it will be made clear. I was open to his leading…..
So now, I write rules and policy as part of a large internet ministry. Call me Moses, I am not a writer, nor even much more than an arm chair theologian, yet amazingly enough, God gives me the word to write, the voice to resolve conflict and to minister. There is nothing scarier than when its 3AM, and no one else is around, and effectively, folks come to you for answers… and in many cases, the answers you can give are not the ones out of your policy manual, the theo text book, nor any text book for that matter. Yet, it seems listening, scripture, and prayer go a long way in helping folks along the path. God’s word does not return void. It is amazingly cool!